5 Ways Sensitive People Handle Victims To Stop Getting Drained
By Ashley Stamatinos, Guest writer, In5D.com, 11/18/2015
Do you have anyone around you who is so negative that it’s hard for you to stay positive? Do you feel burnt out by the neediness of any friends or family members? Do you have any friends who never take any responsibility for their actions?
You may be dealing with a victim who is stressing you out and draining your energy.
The difference between being a victim and not being the victim is victims rarely take responsibility for their lives. It’s always someone else’s fault when things don’t go as planned.
They usually point the finger at everyone else, and can’t see when they have placed themselves in that situation.
People who are victims have all of the power and control. It’s hard for them to give up that control because they often feel they will be powerless if they let go of the problems in their lives
Here are some suggestions to deal with the victims in your life:
- SPEAK IN FACTS NOT FROM EMOTION:When dealing with someone who plays the victim role, you must be patient and speak to them about facts instead of speaking from a place of emotion. Try to stay away from explaining things from a place of emotion (like anger or sadness).
- HELP THEM LOOK FORWARD: Encourage the victim to take action to move towards the future instead of constantly looking at the past and how they have been wronged. Help them change the direction of their focus from backwards to forward.
- DON’T BLAME THEM: If you consider yourself a victim, it might be preventing your feelings of inferiority from surfacing. You want to keep this in mind when speaking with them, because victims will often be defensive. Since they can be defensive, you’ll want to stay away from blaming them or telling them what you think they “should” do. Instead ask them how you can help them to take the next step.
- OFFER TO HELP THEM TAKE ACTION:If you have a friend who is draining you and constantly wants to tell you about how terrible their life is. You can acknowledge their story by saying “I’m sorry you are going through that. It must be tough”. Then ask, “Is there something I can do to help you change this?”. Explain, you would be happy to help them take action, but if they are going to keep complaining about their life without trying to change it, you simply can’t keep listening to those kinds of stories anymore as it is too draining for you.
- STOP BUYING INTO THE IR STORY:If you have a family member or a friend who is deep into victim mentality, then you may want to express to them that they mean a great deal to you, but you feel being a good family member/friend means that you no longer continue to feed the situation by feeling sorry for them. (They will probably guilt trip you at this point, so be prepared.) Reply to the guilt trip without emotion, and say you feel firmly that you are indeed a good friend no matter what they say, and you know you can be a better help to them by not buying into the guilt and blame any longer. Tell them you’re available when they are ready to talk to you about taking action.
As a sensitive person, you must be very careful when you’re around victims. Because you feel so deeply you could walk away feeling like you’re a victim too. It’s very easy to get drained around people who are victims.
Remember the difference between being a victim and not being the victim is victims don’t take responsibility for their actions. If you are taking responsibility for the life you’re creating… You’re moving in a good direction.
About the author:
Ashley Stamatinos is a #1 bestselling co-author of multiple books, and is known as the Empath Expert. She has been interviewed on PBS TV and the Lifestyle channel. As a coach, speaker and teacher it’s her mission to empower highly sensitive and empathic adults and children to recognize their sensitivities as their greatest strength.www.AshleyStamatinos.com (facebook.com/OmorfiHealing)