How Changing Within Manifests In The External Environment
By Vasilia Niles,, Guest writer, In5D.com, 11/15/2015
We often hear from various self-help gurus and spiritual books that if you want to change you life, you have to first change within. I will not lie when I first heard this sort of thing I was baffled to say the least. How is me changing going to stop someone from trying to manipulate me or bring about more income? It just didn’t make any sense. It wasn’t until a few car accidents and lost jobs later along of course with a lot of meditation and introspection that it hit me.
The way you respond to a crisis, financial hardships or the way you view yourself does carry a certain energy that makes people respect you or blow up on you and that makes a crisis turn into into a complete disaster or alternatively wither away and become a distant memory. This is both on a practical and spiritual level. Practically you are able to calmly resolve an issue logically assessing all factors of a situation. Spiritually you are manifesting a positive outcome and you might notice with a little bit of “luck” things worked out anyways and there was no point in ever worrying.
Years ago, when my boyfriend took his car to the mechanic due to engine malfunction, the mechanic told him the problem would cost $286 to fix. At the time he was a college student and had no income so he felt very sad and frustrated. However, something inside him told him somehow it would all work out. He was having those thoughts while walking out of the mechanic when, lo and behold, he found the EXACT amount of money on the street. Not a cent less or more but literally the exact amount. Yes he just found $286 lying on the sidewalk barely a block from the mechanic’s. To this day he tells the story any chance he gets. If that’s not manifesting then I don’t know what is.
Therefore, you have to always remember to focus on the things you CAN change and stop worrying about the things you can’t. In one of my favorite books “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” the author talks about something he calls a “Circle of Influence.” A Circle of Influence are the things a person has control over like their behavior, their productivity, their learning etc. and those are the things people need to be concerned about. Unfortunately, you cannot control you neighbor’s dog not pooping on your lawn or your husband not cheating on you. However, what you can control is your response to others’ behaviors.
Having said that let’s explore how changing the way you view the world and gaining more control over your emotions and responses can transform your life. As my mentor in my Hypnotherapy school always said, “Reframe, Reframe, Reframe!”
Manifesting Your Desires/Law of Attraction
When in an inner state of peace and acceptance, we enter this thing I call “The Flow” or “The Wave” or as Abraham Hicks calls it the “Unmanifested Realm.” This is where the magic happens. This is where you decide to stop cluttering your mind with nonsense and listen to that inner voice or if you’d like to your guardian angels or whatever you want to call it. By releasing all fears and worries you allow in all those beautiful things you desire because there is nothing obstructing them. “Ask and thou shall receive” indeed.
In my personal life whenever something negative happened, I got in such a state of frustration and anxiety that everything that could go wrong went wrong. You’ve heard the saying, “When it rains, it pours.” Well that’s because we refuse to bring an umbrella. When you’re in a state of hyper-arousal and stress, on a practical level you become more careless and make more mistakes, on a physical level you weaken your immune system and become ill and on a spiritual level you cut yourself off from the flow of the universe. It’s a lose-lose situation.
Where did worrying ever get you anyways? Will worrying change anything? No, it will not. Therefore, you have two choices: to either accept the situation or try to and change it. Don’t resist or complain. Just do it trusting in a higher power to help you on the way. When you love life, your outer world shapes itself accordingly to reflect that inner state. Even if you’re skeptical try it for a week. What do you have to lose?
Avoiding Drama and Conflict
Oftentimes in our lives we deal with difficult situations and people. Maybe our spouse is going off on us because they had a difficult day at work or an unexpected expense makes us cancel our travel plans. Those are things we cannot control. However, what we can control is our response.
Do you often find yourself attacking back and blowing things out of proportion? Or do you try to understand why the person acted the way they did and calmly ask them what’s going on? Are you quick to point fingers and storm out of the house or do you sympathize and ask them what it is you might have done wrong to make them feel that way?
Avoiding an argument or conflict can be as simple as pointing out to the other person their behavior without attacking them as a person and sincerely finding out why it is they are behaving the way they are. It can be as simple as using “I” instead of “You.” “I feel I am being wrongly accused” vs. “YOU are always wrongly accusing me of things.” In addition, when a person overreacts, if you remain calm, this often results in the person later reflecting and realizing their behavior and even apologizing. However, if one feeds into the conflict, then the other person will make excuses for their behavior by pointing out the hurtful things you might have said forgetting they may have started it in the first place. No one wants to be a pushover but being assertive is very different from being aggressive.
This is one of many examples on how thinking before you act can prevent irreversible damage to your relationships with others. Controlling your thoughts and emotions and thinking before speaking brings about a discipline that translates into everyday life by increasing commitment, follow-through and perseverance. It shifts how others treat and perceive you. It brings peace of mind and it makes life that much easier. Why therefore, not take the road of least resistance?
Developing the “It” Factor and Affecting Others
There are certain people who have what we call the “It” factor. They walk into a room and just command it. They glow when they talk and for some reason though you want to hate them for being so great you can’t help but love them. What do they have that you lack? Are they maybe more beautiful, eloquent or successful? No. Absolutely not. They just were able to tap into their inner confidence, a self-esteem that comes only from within and one that is not swayed by external circumstances.
One day you may get a bonus at work and feel great and the other have trouble paying your bills. Whatever the external situation, real confidence develops when you trust enough in yourself to tackle any difficulty thrown at you because you believe in your own God-given power. This power, which is inextricably connected to this universe, believe it or not wants you to succeed. It comes from understanding that everyone is human just like you and that you have as much ability as anyone to find the resources necessary to get what you want. It comes from the understanding that there is no greater gift than that of life itself and from the realization that no one else will ever walk this Earth that is like you. You are unique.
Having that belief and love for yourself is something people can unconsciously pick up on. So when you start loving yourself (and others), watch how others begin to love you. And those few who don’t will not bother of affect you because you know your true worth in the same way you realize the true potential in others who are part of you.
Moreover, the way a person feels oftentimes is unconsciously picked up by another person by subtle cues such as body language, breathing and on a more spiritual level, telepathically since we are all connected through the collective unconscious and are simply extensions of a whole. We could even call ourselves antennas if you will, picking up each other’s energies.
This is why when you’re in a bad mood the world seems to conspire against you. The lady in front of you at the bank slams the door in your face, the cashier is trying to charge you an overdraft fee and that annoying kid won’t stop starring at you and crying. Now think of a day when you were in a great mood. Didn’t things just seem to flow? They messed up your order at Starbucks and you got a free coffee, a parking spot cleared up as soon as you pulled up to work and your co-worker made you cupcakes. Yes we are inside a lucid dream.
One day I was sitting in my office and my co-worker had her back facing me when I started to yawn. All of a sudden I noticed her yawning behind me. This shocked me for mine was quiet and sneaky since I didn’t want my manager hearing it. What a great example of situational awareness, telepathy, and mirroring all at work.
Altering Your Brain Chemistry
From a scientific perspective the way you think literally changes your physiological functioning which in turn changes even more the way you think, act and behave, which in turns affects your external environment and so on and so on. How? Well have you heard the phrase: “It Takes 21 days to form a Habit? This is because neurons in our brain form passageways and the more we repeat a behavior or thought, the easier it becomes for a neuron to take that path. Think of how long it took you to get to work the first day you started vs. how long it took you 3 years after taking the same route everyday. Same goes for neurons. As a result, to break these literal negative patterns our neurons have formed, we have to repeatedly change how we think internally and that will externally translate into a physiological shift in your brain’s functioning.
Life becomes About the Journey and Not the Destination
Goal setting is great! It fuels our existence, gives us a purpose and is what motivates us to keep going even when things get rough. However, some people get so pre-occupied with the end result, they forget to live in the now and let life simply pass them by. The truth is we will never stop having goals because once we have achieved them, we will create new ones. It’s just the greedy part of human nature. But goals are in the future and we live in the present. The future and past are an illusion. Only the present moment is real.
When our inner world is at peace and we have developed patience and trust, we allow ourselves to step back and savor the flowers. We are open to the lessons the obstacles in reaching our goals teach us and love every moment of growth we attain from the journey we create for ourselves. When we love ourselves, believe in our abilities and realize the universe and us are one, we surrender and detach ourselves from outcomes. We are just happy to be alive and cannot wait to see what life will bring us.
According to Buddhism, inner peace is valued even above happiness and when one is at peace, they do not concern themselves with past mistakes or future outcomes and are simply along for the ride. Only in a state of full openness and presence can one receive all the teachings and fully comprehend them. This in turn results in making our outer lives much easier to navigate through. Only your behavior and inner state can bring about the shift you have been longing for. You create your own obstacles.
People mistakenly think external situations and people can bring about their happiness. An unhappy person will always find something to be unhappy about no matter how great their lives are. They will always focus on the one thing missing or if they reach their goals, they will be unhappy because they’ll compare themselves to others who have attained higher goals or because they have nothing else to look forward to.
If you want your life to be filled with happiness, you got to start being happy Now. Not tomorrow, not in a week, not in an hour but NOW! The sooner you do, the sooner that world your brain perceives will shift to fit your mind’s new model of the world. It’s all a matter of perception. In two of my favorite books, “The Alchemist” and the well-known “Odyssey,” both characters soon realize it was never really about the destination but about the journey.
Life is a catch 22. It’s the destination that brings about the realization that it was never about the destination but about the journey; about growing and evolving. But it’s that realization and growth that bring you to your destination. So award yourself for your small successes for they are a result of your decision to get out of your own way and be the change you want to see in the world.
To conclude, your words, thoughts and actions have to align in order for you to unleash your full manifesting potential. You can’t just say affirmations and expect them to work. You have to feel them, see them and act as if you already have what you want. Embody the life you want to live, the person you want to be. Changing within not only allows your manifesting powers to work freely with no hinders but also gives you a confidence and a glow that is magnetic to others. Being at peace with yourself and others, loving yourself and others while setting healthy boundaries and focusing on what’s right instead on what’s wrong, is what makes life a wonder. At the end of it all life is about balance. Balancing a practical excited “go-getter” attitude with a fun and peaceful “I’m in it for the ride” attitude and see where the flow takes you. It’s like a skillful sailboat captain who uses the winds to his/her benefit to stir them in the right direction instead of being stirred by the wind.
Therefore, the one thing I you to take from all this:
Change your view, change your life.
About the author:
Vasilia Niles (Kouskoulas) is an alien nomad from Nibiru who landed on this planet to show others the path to expressing themselves to their fullest potential and explore the unexplored. She graduated from UCLA with a major in Polisci/IR and minor in Film/Theatre and has been writing for as long as she can remember herself being able to pick a pencil up and draw all over the walls of her house. She also got a degree in Hypnotherapy and NLP from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute graduating with Honors. Vasilia was born and raised in Greece but currently resides in Los Angeles, CA and since there is nothing more she loves than delving into others’ psyches, she is a working actor and practicing Hypnotherapist.