Inner Guidance: We Each Have A Heart Compass And Soul Library
By Tina Jerkovich (SpecialTeeVibrations)
If you are like me, then from as early as you can remember… you have felt something guiding you, and helping you to try and make the right decisions. All too often we ignore that guidance and find ourselves feeling lost, because we silenced our own inner voice. Now is a good time to really allow your inner self to be heard and most importantly guide you to make the right life choices. You will be amazed at where you go and what you experience.
Over the past 5 years I have handed the reigns over if you will, to my heart compass and inner guidance system… my heart started pulling me away from the life I had made myself, towards the end of 2006… After the end of a very long painful relationship I had been in. I was finally alone, no one was there when I went to sleep at night… after a decade of always having someone there to occupy my mind with, and it was now just me. Well let me tell you, when you have moments of solitude your inner voice sits you down for a long come to Jesus talk. However your inner voice is not alone it’s got your ego sharing space with it… so often it’s hard to discern who is truly being heard. I unfortunately had my ego speaking in my mind beating me up on the daily for the loss I had gone through. I was very depressed and very suicidal. Thoughts like: see I knew you weren’t good enough for anyone to want to marry or stay faithful to. You are far too over weight, how can anyone love you looking like that… no wonder he cheated. Self-talk like that on the daily was breaking my spirit I could barely hear my inner self calling me from my heart space. Luckily I had stronger guides then I could have ever asked for. I met a friend named David who helped me climb back from off the ledge and be happy about being here again.
I often think he was like a Guardian Angel or something, to show up when he did… he helped me understand that I wasn’t alone and that many people had suffered through the same self-abuse. Including himself who had also broken free from a very toxic relationship. Having this person to talk to helped quite my ego down a bit, I wasn’t beating myself up as much and I was able to start finally hearing my inner voice.
My inner voice said stop thinking that you need to be in this city anymore, that you are bound by your mortgage and bills. You can be free you can move away, don’t let things that don’t make you happy keep you bound to them. So I decided to move across country back to the place I had been born. My friends were there as well as my new friend David, but something else was pulling my heart there. So I told my family I was going to short-sale my house and pay down what I could on my bills before leaving to a home I had calling me from inside.
Upon arrival to my home state, after packing up the moving truck quitting my job and driving across country… everything fell apart. The place I was supposed to live in didn’t work out and I had to move all my belongings into a friends extra bedroom. That friend and I had a huge blow out and I was asked to move out… thank goodness I had found a job a couple weeks prior or lord knows what my situation would have ended up being. A new friend I met online told me to try my best to stay positive even though things were falling apart. I did my best to change my mindset from “doom and gloom: to “anything good can happen I just have to believe it”. Well it worked, a friend offered me his spare car and I was able to find a place to move into with the help of friends and family. So things were improving my friend Albert had been right about changing my negative mind set and allowing something good to happen.
I loved my new space it was right on a canal with a dock to sit on and talk to the moon at night. Just a little cottage of a house, but perfect for me at that time in my life…it was 2011 by now a truly magical year. All this time my consciousness and awareness was through the roof… I felt like a huge magnet for my soul family to find. All these amazing people started showing up in my life. One being the person you always seem to be searching for… you know they feel like the missing piece of your soul has returned. The two of us could communicate without words, he would send me thoughts from another room or while we were away at work. That individual as well as my best friend and some other very dear friends of mine were like a magical family. One that I could have only dreamed of, it was so wonderful it often felt like a dream. Nothing brought me more joy then spending time with each of them. After a time life crept back in and people developed relationships with others and we didn’t get to see each other as often. I listen to my heart a lot through this time and was able to stop being a negative person and self sabotaging… I learnt how to respect and love myself more. My friends and soul family are still very dear to me even though some have their own lives now and I do not get to speak to them in person. But I love them very much and they are always present in my heart.
So I was alone with myself again and felt I had healed quite a bit between 2011 and 2013… So my inner guides said why not embark on a healing journey… so I did. I went back to my old career so I could work and save a bit of money as it was a lucrative position, but very stressful. I stayed with my sister and saved every dime I had to buy a ticket to South America to see Machu Picchu and partake in the healing ceremonies of Ayahuasca. My friend flew me out to South Africa to start our journey as she was there on a trip of her own, and South Africa was breathtaking. We stayed in the bush of South Africa by Kruger National Park. I connected with Elephants, Lions, Hyena, Leopards and many other incredible creatures… I met more soul family and friends there, before the two of us headed to Peru. Mind you I had never traveled alone before so going to all these destinations on my own to meet friends I had never met in person before was very daring… I was really trusting my inner self that amazing things were happening and ahead of me because I finally was listening. Peru was also incredible and I met the most amazing souls there we all working at our inner healing and bonded over the experience that I will always have with me. My ayahuasca visions showed me I was on the right path and that I knew where I was meant to be in the world.
I traveled back home again and started saving for my next journey, nothing holds me back anymore I flew back to South Africa and stayed for a few months connected to mother earth again and her inhabitants on the rawest level. My energy is very open and very healing. I spoke with many and helped them see they also had a voice inside worth listening to, and they like me matter and deserved to live their life purpose. So today I work and save for my next destination and I am also a soon to be practicing yogi and hope to create my own wellness and travel destinations for those in need of finding their inner guide and spark. I couldn’t be more blessed and happy because I heard the message I was sending myself and I listened. There is a lot to my story but I wouldn’t want to over whelm the reader. Just find time and solitude to listen to your inner voice and heart… it will never steer you wrong.
© The Open Mind
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