Healing Your Inner Child and Opening Up to Love
By Leda de Zwaan, The Master Shift
Your inner child is ALWAYS inside of you. You carry them around wherever you go because he or she lives in your heart. What happens when the inner child feels abandoned by its father or mother, discouraged, unacknowledged, cheated on or rejected by a loved one?
What does the inner child do?
The inner child says: ‘I will shield myself from feeling anything for anyone. I do NOT want a serious, loving relationship because loving someone means getting abandoned or turned down. Caring for somebody will cause me pain, depression and even illness.
Of course you’ll keep on living and you‘ll move on, but your inner child will be there forever, protecting you from possible heartbreak.
What happens when you connect, meet, see (even through internet) a possible long-term partner?
The inner child (tarot card 9 of wands) awakens (as a huge force of energy), already in fear of losing that person in the future. Will she leave me for another man? Will she turn me down, when my heart is wide open for her?
Will she be mean or arrogant? Will she get ill or maybe even die? Yourinner child, has become so scared of all you’ve already gone through, that the slightest form of affection for anyone can trigger it’s alarms. It has nothing to do with your new crush by the way, this new person could well be the love of your life!
The energy can take over your whole system. It is so strong in protecting you from any more harm, that it can show up in your body functions, but also behavior and sleep. When it stands up, all of a sudden, it can look/feel like this:
– Heart problems coming seemingly out of nowhere.
– The strong feeling of wanting to end it now, whatever it is.
– Feeling very nervous, without any reason.
– Sporatic crying, and feeling scared and lost.
– Problems sleeping, the feeling as if something is very wrong
– You start drinking/smoking, or any other habit to escape from something that feels like an enormous danger. You want to get away.
– You need to be alone, and protect yourself, feeling like running away.
What can I do?
Meditate. Lay a hand on your heart and see the child (you as a young boy/girl) in front of you. Ask why they are in so much fear. Hold them when they cries. Tell them this: “I am Now grown up. I am here to protect and comfort you. I DO want to be open to this new love. I know that your intentions come from a place of love. Thank you.”
“But I’m an adult now, and I choose to connect with this person. Don’t be afraid anymore, trust me…” Put the inner child back in your heart. Give it some toys to play with, and let it be comfortable. Depending on the level of fear you may need to do this everyday.
Note: The first encounter with your inner child can be very emotional. She or he could’ve been in a dark corner alone and crying for decades. Just pick them up and comfort them, as you are Grown Up Now. Share emotions, cuddle them and make sure they understands that the situation is going to change. You’ll always keep on loving them, but you’ll be open for new love at the same time.
Look into the child’s eyes. Visualize what they look like, how they feel, how they act. Are they scared, confused, insecure or unsafe. How old is your child? Are they holding you back from change? You’re capable of holding this child and comforting them. Whisper for example: I’m <<name>> and I’m <<age>> years old.
I swear to protect you from everything that might harm you. We can do anything, be anywhere and love anyone. It’s okay to have feelings. I’ve seen you, and I’ll hold you. Let’s change. I’ve already changed. I see your fears and I understand them. I see the pain you’ve experienced in the past.
Tell it everything you want it to know and hug it. You’re an adult now, and you can count on yourself. You’re able to protect yourself, love yourself and leave. Embrace your inner child and let it play instead of being scared.
Inner Child practices and meditations
This is an example, I made myself, for my own inner child:
( Picture: Own archive)
‘Today I have been wandering in the forest and seeing life through the eyes of a small child.
Connecting to my own inner child. Where would she like to be? What does she want to see? Where does she want to go?
What makes her happy in the present AND the future? What are her dreams? What are her hopes? Where do ‘ my feet’ need to walk, to make us both happy? We – as in Me and My inner child- saw a beautiful mansion, a big tree for ‘grounding’, and a sign post pointing at two different directions: Our daily ‘free choice’. We saw an ‘open road’ full of freshness and oxygen and growth! These are symbols for new choices. You can do the same!
I made a collage, with my vintage red shoes from the seventies, it displays where ‘ she’ would like to walk and exist…’- Leda
Another Inner Child practice
Make a colorful mood board (use big paper sheets with colors, glitters and hearts). Put on all things that make you happy and make you feel safe. Cut out hearts, food, bears, anything you like from magazines and make a happy, loved, warm, childhood collage. Create a mood board depicting who you truly wanted to be as a child, or do some visualizations of what totally makes your inner child happy. What can you give to make them feel safe? A new room? does she need sleep?
Do you need to give them a certain toy? Or do they want to be held in your arms and cry? Does she need to hear certain words like ‘ it is safe’, ‘ you are loved’, and ‘ I take care of you, always, and I always love you no matter how you look, feel or what you undertake in life’.
After you are feeling good, place the little him/her in you heart. This is where they will will always be, so be sure to check in often, because most panic attacks or fear you feel as a grown up, often is connected to vulnerabilities being felt by your inner child.
Create “moodboards”, but also feed your inner child with joy. Everyday there is something to play with, laugh at and to see through the eyes of a child. We can watch cartoons, play computer games, make crafts or feel the innocence of a child regardless of however much pain you had in this life. Why not do it NOW. It’s Fun, fun, fun…
About the Author:
Leda de Zwaan is writer, speaker, journalist, singer, and Coach of the New Energy. She specializes in Add/HSP, twinsoul- and soulmate relationships, Karma cleansing, Regression-therapy, Innerchild-Healing, Personalized Meditations, Advisor, New Science, Anti-Aging programmes, sustainability, how to live in a healthy home, heart-activations and healing with new energetic tools.
She is entrepeneur to guide towards a new global shift. She is a writer in the New energy: Her articles, writings and movies are activating energy- Giving new perspectives, Higher vibrations, Ancient and New knowledge. She tries to re-connect you with your inner voice- Heart wisdom and your true Unique Essence of Self-Mastery and Self-Love. So called ‘ New Energy;- As she calles her mission.
Her website can be found at: www.enlighteningmedia.com
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