I Remember ~ I’m Able To Walk The Path of Freedom & Truth
By Sophie Gregoire, 02/10/2017
The path of the independent warriors is tough, sometimes.
Everyday I wake up and I wonder, what’s ahead. I wake up and I wonder if I’ll be able to live the day as I should, to make the most of it, to do something that will truly carry me forward -- to do what’s right.
Every morning I wake up and I know that nobody will carry me in the “right” direction. Nobody will tell me what to do, what to start. No outside authority, no boss, no reader of the unknown future will tell me – “that’s your way for today, Lady”.
I wake up slowly sometimes, because I’m scared of the day. I’m scared, because I don’t know what’s ahead.
I’m scared because I don’t know if I’m doing what’s right.
It took me years to get there – in such a space of freedom and truth.
I had been many different things before that, embodied different mundane titles of our times.
Those things never felt aligned, however they offered a significant advantage by providing me with a safety net -- a safety net of what to do, of who to meet, of what to say even sometimes, based on the role that I had.
A safety net of what life will look like.
Life was framed, supervised, controlled but and even if I didn’t like it -- I had the feeling that I couldn’t really fail. I couldn’t really fail because if I did the “wrong” things, someone would just warn me and put me back on the “right” direction.
And, you can’t really derail off tracks and fall down, if the road that you’re traveling is already lined with a thousand millions footprints.
However the calling was too strong and I left the main’s street -- step after step, morning after morning. This, even if I was afraid of what could happen to me on the path less travelled.
Because ultimately, the truth always wins over fears.
The truth is a strong and fierce thing, you see -- you can avoid it for a few days, a few weeks, a few years even perhaps but it always comes back. And it haunts you, it haunts you at night, it sends you wake-up spells, it shakes you up, it calls you into action, it yells at you from the unseen.
Everyday I wake up and I wonder.
Everyday I wake up and I wonder, what’s ahead. I wake up and I wonder if I’ll be able to live that day, to make the most of it, to do something that will truly carry me forward -- to do what’s right.
I ask myself, if I do enough. I wonder if I do things right. I wonder if I go to the right places, if I write right, if I’m really heart-led -- if I will ultimately find the strength today, tomorrow and at every life’s crossroad to travel the path less travelled.
I wake up slowly and I wonder, I wonder if I’ll truly be able to build my own way, I wonder what my life will be even -- after all the paved roads that I’ve moved out from.
Everyday I wake up and I wonder if I’ll be able to never go backwards.
I wonder, and I get scared and my skin shivers. I’m scared because I don’t really know why I’m doing this or that, why I so often feel called to do things without knowing why.
My belly aches -- because it wonders where, when and with whom we’ll land.
My belly aches because it can only feel the unseen -- but it can’t see.
I wonder, so I wake up slowly because I don’t know if today I’ll do what’s “right”.
My body shakes in fear because true adventures have no roadmaps.
And then I quiet my mind, I surrender
I surrender in faith
I surrender in the wisdom of my own self
I surrender, because I remember.
I remember all the young ladies that I once was, that took leaps a million times it seems – and that never truly failed.
I recall, their bravery, all the leaps and the amount of fear they’ve carried in their hearts so many times -- but moved anyways, because it felt right.
Most importantly, that’s her that I remember -- that young, very young brunette girl. I remember, what she said, I remember what she said that night :
“I’m different, I’m of another kind and I have a mission, Granny. I’ve a vocation, you see.
I’ll be a candle, a help. I’ll be a hand for those like me, for the different ones, for the misfits and the sacred troublemakers.
I’ll be our faith. I’ll be our bravery.
I’ll be a temple for the sparkling fools, I’ll show that there is another way. I’ll show the way for those that life has decided to call the “dreamers” -- those that life never really could name because they never fit in”.
Those words handed out, almost in silence and like a secret – those words handed out to my favourite ancestor Lady.
And I remember, silky caressing breeze, that life has always - even when it felt scary - found a way to tell me “you’re on the right path”.
I remember why I’ve chosen the path less travelled, and why I’m, and we are – able to walk in freedom and truth.
I recall, all the young ladies, the young ladies that I once was – the Parisian ballet dancers, the Asian happy-go-lucky, the life’s explorers, the passers-by of her Cambodian Four Arms, the gold seekers, the sunny pictures, the straw hats paintings.
I remember their smiles, the sparkles, the hope, the light -- the beauty each crazy leap into the unfolding unknown painted on their skin.
I remember gently, it’s becoming soft now -- the breeze is gentle on my skin, it’s enveloping me in a white comforting light.
I remember which nobody knew, at that time -- I remember what I had decided, so young, present words from such a faraway past.
I remember, like a secret – that I’ve gone too far, we’ve all gone too far, too high, we’ve travelled for too long in truth to go backwards.
So I surrender, into the unfolding unknown of life
Knowing, that life isn’t a spectacle, life isn’t a movie that we watch from the comfort of ourselves, that life won’t – as it never did – happen to me.
I remember that, as always, life will be my own painting, my own adventure, it won’t fall on my head unexpected like a summer rain – no, because it will be what I make of it.
I remember, for all the young ladies that I once was, for all the leaps into the unseen that we took in faith, holding the candles of our own heart -- I remember, that life truly never failed.
I remember and I surrender into the adventurous, shining, bright, courageous, mysterious unfolding unknown.
And so I wake up, ultimately. I’m led once again, for another day, by this strong inspiring voice from within -- never knowing where it will exactly lead
But knowing, praying. Certain, sure, strong, fierce, never-failing – knowing that,
I travel, I walk in truth and trust and freedom
I travel and the path unfolds, on its own
I travel, and life takes me where I’m meant to be.
Sophie Gregoire is a writer, spiritual teacher and coach. Her travels and discoveries within herself and in the world, for the past five years, have enabled her to find her true self and help others find their own unique way.
She has explored different kinds of love and soul’s connections, unveiled the mysteries of « sacred unions » and became a healer for those involved in Divine relationships - as you may see there www.thetwinflamejourney.com.
Sophie savors coffee, encounters, Yoga and meditation, and cats… while her own cat is her greatest muse! You could contact Sophie via Facebook, where she proposes coaching sessions about the spiritual path, personal empowerment and love.
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